21 Steps To Ensure Low Breastfeeding Rates

Possible potential trigger warning – traumatic birth is mentioned, and separation of mother and baby.  You may also detect a hint of sarcasm.

Disclaimer: As a doula, I support parent’s choices.  If a woman doesn’t want to breastfeed, that’s her choice and I support it.  This post is not about that.  It’s about how breastfeeding women are treated.  Mothers who don’t breastfeed don’t get off scott-free, either (that’s a post for another day!) but the way breastfeeding women are treated seems especially unjust, given how normal and necessary breastfeeding is for the health of women, children and wider society.  Sometimes that treatment is obviously bad (the media’s treatment of women as commodities, health care professionals with no current training in lactation); sometimes it is insipid (formula advertising, the puke-worthy “breastisbest” mantra); sometimes it is innocuous and well meaning (this is usually from friends and family who are trying to support a new mum, but don’t know how to help her achieve her goals since they are living in a bottle culture).

Step 1 – Ensure all women and girls grow up saturated in a bottle culture. Feeding babies is a right brained activity, we learn it by seeing it. So make sure that breastfeeding is not “seen”. Make sure it’s hidden away or covered up, if it happens at all. Do not show it on television or in magazines, unless you are referring to it in a negative way. A baby can’t breastfeed if his mother won’t offer him her breast.

Step 2 – In a weird contrast, elevate breastfeeding to something elite: extra, a luxury, ie – not necessary.  This normalises bottles and formula and marginalises breastfeeding in one fell swoop.  “Breast is best!”

Step 3 – Instill in young women and girls an inherent distrust in their bodies.  You can do this quite effectively by drip feeding her negative messages about breastfeeding, birth, motherhood and womanhood in general.  Anything that makes her dislike her body (it’s size, shape, how it looks etc.) is great bonus material.  Convince all young women that their bodies are only valuable as ornaments.  Bonus points for perpetuating the myth that breastfeeding makes breasts sag.

Step 4 – Spread misinformation about infant behaviour and sleep patterns.  If “everyone knows” that babies will “sleep through the night” at X weeks, then when a mother reaches that age and her (perfectly normal baby) is waking at night, or not “self settling” for naps….  she is all the more likely to blame her body and her milk, especially if you have been thorough with step 3.  “He must be hungry, I am not producing enough.”  Plant these seeds early, enlist the help of “baby experts” and make sure that there are plenty of formula ads on TV in the evening when babies are cluster-feeding and you will see results.

Step 5 – If you’re not allowed to send vouchers or free samples for formula while she is pregnant, don’t worry.  You can still target her with advertisements for follow-on milk and these are still very effective.

Step 6 – Set her up to have a difficult, or even traumatic birth.  This may increase her desire to breastfeed, but it will probably also make breastfeeding harder so it’s well worth doing.  (See also: ~How To Make Labour As Painful, Difficult, Long, Complicated and Dangerous as Possible~ https://bloomingmiracledoula.wordpress.com/2013/11/05/how-to-make-labour-as-painful-difficult-long-complicated-and-dangerous-as-possible/ and also http://www.normalfed.com/Starting/birthsilly.html)

Step 7 – Make sure she does not get skin to skin contact at birth – this will stimulate rooting behaviours in the baby and milk production in the mother, with disastrous results!  The best way to prevent this is to separate the two immediately.  Delay the return of the baby as long as you can, and when you must send the baby back to his mother, make sure he is bundled up like a burrito.  The newborn hat is a HIGHLY valuable barrier to normal, physiological maternal behaviours that would only encourage breastfeeding.  So please don’t forget his hat!  It’s helpful if the mother is wearing clothes that are not nursing friendly.  Ideally, the baby should be removed to a nursery as much as possible which should be situated as far as possible from the maternity ward.  All the little obstacles add up.

Step 8 – Give the baby formula or sugar water as early as possible.  Failing that, use a dummy (pacifier).  Not only does this reduce how much the baby suckles at the breast, having a negative effect on her milk supply, but it also makes sure she has plenty of doubt in her ability to nourish and comfort her baby.  If you are very fortunate, it will also result in “nipple confusion”, causing even the most determined breastfeeder significant problems.

Step 9 – If you are in a country that allows it, cut the genitals of the baby.  This is likely to interrupt feeding as it is very painful while it heals.  The less they feed the less milk she will make and eventually she will have to resort to top ups and it won’t be long before she has given up completely.

Step 10 -Interrupt the mother and baby as much as possible.  Give them no time to bond and discover each other and get to grips with breastfeeding.  An endless parade of visitors is helpful – they can have fun cuddling the baby while the mother wears herself out doing that housework and playing hostess to the people drinking all the [cow’s] milk and dirtying all her cups.

Step 11 – Weigh the baby incessantly.  Use charts designed for formula fed babies (who tend to be heavier) for maximum anxiety.

Step 12 – Keep drip feeding doubt – hint that baby will sleep better or cry less if bottle fed. Any ailment you can think of can be blamed on breastfeeding, and cured by quitting.  Fatigue, colic, wind, slow weight gain, you name it!  Relatives can be very helpful in undermining a new mothers confidence with thoughtful phrases like “Are you sure he’s getting enough?”, “You only fed him half an hour ago, your milk must be poor quality”.  Seeing her baby fed by someone else ad apparently content afterwards when she struggled with him for several hours will knock her confidence almost as much as her health visitor interrogating her as to her pumping routine (what pumping routine??  commence panic!)

Step 13 – She is likely to be wobbling now.  If you are fortunate, this might be the last nail in the breastfeeding coffin.  REASSURE HER.  Tell her it’s OK to give up.   Tell her not everyone can breastfeed (even if it’s likely that she could with the right support.)  Point out to her all the people who “weren’t breastfed and are just fine”.  Then clinch it with the “Happy mum, happy baby” line.  It doesn’t matter about her own goals.  It doesn’t matter how much she wanted to breastfeed.  It doesn’t matter that it’s a biological imperative.  It doesn’t matter how far she has come, how close she may be to turning a corner, or how she will feel about this loss in the months or years to come.

Step 14 – Isolate the mother.  Cut funding to breastfeeding support groups and lactation specialists in hospitals.  Failing that, demonise them by calling them “nazis”, ignore their hard work and encourage her to dismiss their support.

Step 15 – Guilt trip the mother – insist she is being selfish unless she uses a bottle so the baby doesn’t have to be with her so much.  If her baby is not passed round like a dolly they will grow up needy and clingy.  The father, being only a man, is obviously incapable of bonding with his child without some kind of calorie transfer taking place – capitalise on his inaedquacy.  Insist that she have “me-time”, sex before she is ready and quiz her again about that all-important pumping routine.  You know, so everyone can have a go at feeding the baby.

Step 16 – Among your weaponry in the fight against breastfeeding are such elements as: embarrassment, shame and social ostracism.  Ask the mother to cover up or go to another room whenever she feeds in front of you.  Or just get up and leave, that is very effective, too.  If you see a breastfeeding mother sitting nearby in a public place, complain to the manager if applicable and attempt to have her removed.  Use gems like “She is making me uncomfortable” or “My children shouldn’t have to see her boobs!”  or “She is waving her tits around/pushing them down my throat!”This will allow for maximum humiliation and will really hit the mother where it hurts.

Step 17 – Assuming the mother clears the hurdles you set in front of her as she started on her journey, repeatedly ask her when she is going to stop.  While her child is an infant, innocuous phrases like “When will you start giving him a bottle?” might well be enough.  The older he gets, the more blatant you must be about your disapproval.  “When do you think you will stop?” is fine and not at all nosey.  It’s completely your business when this phase of their relationship will end.  “You’re not still doing THAT are you?”  is very effective and not at all rude or obnoxious.  Little Britain impressions are hilarious.  Don’t forget your stock items, “ew!” “GROSS!” and a disgusted facial expression.  None of these make you look socially inept, immature or ignorant.

Step 18 – Tell her that her child no longer needs it when they can ask for it/have teeth/will be able to remember it later.  Because none of these milestones are arbitrary or irrelevant in the slightest.

Step 19 – Tell the mother she is going to make her child gay (regardless of gender, this totally makes sense).  This includes a nice big dollop of homophobia, because not only is it TOTALLY plausible (no, really) it also correctly implies that being gay is just about the worst thing her child could possibly be.

Step 20 – Tell her that what she is doing is child abuse, she must be forcing her child to breastfeed for her own twisted needs. Yes, that’s right, accuse her of being a sex criminal and exploiting her own children.  As a bonus, it will probably secure your place as her never-to-be-dethroned-BFF.

The Final Step: If the mother stops breastfeeding early in her babies life, or if she chooses not to for any reason, heap scorn on her for not “giving her baby the best start”.  This isn’t part of the program for ensuring low breastfeeding rates, we just do it for fun.

In closing: if you still breastfed despite these obstacles (not to mention the natural ones like sore nipples, fatigue and engorged breasts!) no matter how long for, I salute you!  And if you did not, well, I salute you, too.  That is not an easy choice to make either, given Steps #1, 2 and 21 in particular.

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40 thoughts on “21 Steps To Ensure Low Breastfeeding Rates

  1. I think the US has managed this, and us in the UK are only a few steps behind.
    Also, make sure any breastfeeding past some imaginary point in time is weird and “extended.” And point out to the mother that this can only be for *her* benefit.

    • Although UK rates are even worse than US, so I think the UK’s doing great on many of these counts. Well done us 😦

  2. This is a great list. All these things that are done in our ‘normal’ culture (plus countless other things). It is not enough to just be neutral, we have to overtly SUPPORT breastfeeding….

    • Haha this article is awesome ! I’ve come close to quiting many times due to pressure from others . I haven’t let them win. It’s all down to ignorance thanks for givin me a giggle 🙂

  3. You forgot “Make sure all the medical professionals she sees give contradictory advice and tell her that everything she THOUGHT had been going well really wasn’t.” “Make sure she understands that breastfeeding isn’t SUPPOSED to hurt or be uncomfortable in the slightest, so if she is dealing with cracked nipples, thrush, tongue tie, or a shallow latch it is impossible to fix and completely her failure, a sign that she JUST CAN’T breastfeed and needs to supplement with/switch to formula.” “Demonize cosleeping and bedsharing as reckless and dangerous to make sure that night-time feeds as are disruptive and difficult as possible- bonus points if you can also ensure that there is an ’emergency’ can of formula in the kitchen ‘just in case; during those bleak 3am exhausted rocking chair nursing sessions” and “Repeatedly stress how important it is that SHE get enough rest to stave off postpartum mood disorders, and that exhaustion can lead to her getting postpartum psychosis and drowning her baby. Completely gloss over any evidence that breastfeeding REDUCES the risk of ppmd and that early weaning can trigger the body to think the baby died and react hormonally as if there was a profound loss.”

    • I did miss a lot didn’t I! I also missed prescribe medication that is not compatible with breastfeeding (or just tell her it isn’t because you don’t know). But I got to 20 and just felt I had to draw line!

      • I own Hale’s Medications and Mothers’ Milk and have twice so far headed off new mums who had been told by consultants that they *had* to stop breastfeeding to take necessary medication. I forget what one was but the other was a completely harmless antibiotic. I have a daydream of setting up a charity that provides all consultants with a copy of this book. My heart breaks for all the mothers I have met who didn’t even initiate breast feeding because they were told they couldn’t because of the pain killers they were on following a c-section. Guess what, safe to breast feed while taking every time

  4. Haha I love it. Alot of this goes on in uk, I had alot of it first. Second time the hospital had got better bt then it was the other half and his formula pushing family. 14months on and you think theyd have given up 😉 haha self weaning for the win! My child, my body, my choice! 🙂

  5. I breastfed both my children the first for 18m the 2nd for 3years – I’m not into LaLeche or anything – I stopped when I wanted to… the NHS staff helped me hugely – the health visitor was wonderful – my babies were given to me at birth and they slept by my side in the ward…. I beastfed in every cafe – no one asked me to move on or cover up – though I tried to be discreet for my benefit….. we all have different experiences of health care services in the UK – mine was that they were fabulous. Be confident ladies and listen to yourselves… you know what is best for you and your baby. Rx

    • I have never been asked to move either – if anything, only positive comments from people 🙂

      Unfortunately I come into contact with people, day in and day out who have not had good breastfeeding support. They’ve been given bad or conflicting advice from all angles and for quite a few mums, it just feels like one hurdle after another.

  6. I am in love with this! How well written! I get called pushy etc all the time when all I want to do it support a mother rather than letting her just give up. Hearing ‘I don’t have enough milk’ etc is too much! Support is needed and I will not stop!!!

  7. Having breastfed my 6lb 5 daughter for 15 months (first in the family to even attempt breastfeeding) I felt fairly confident (& excited!) at the prospect of doing the same when my son was born. However, with a slightly bigger birthweight of 8lb 7 a well meaning relative said matter of factly that of course I would have to supplement a big boy like that with a bottle as he wouldn’t be nearly satisfied just with breastmilk!! 8 weeks on & he’s put nearly 6lb on his birthwieght (like his sister he didn’t even lose any of his birthwieght!) I just WISH the science of breastfeeding was widely known/publicised so that uninformed comments like that weren’t made!!

    • My daughter was 8lb 7oz as well! I didn’t consider her “big” really, just average. I am pretty flippin’ proud to say she has never had a bottle or a drop of formula. She is three and a half and breastfeeds once a day or so. I was very determined to breastfeed her, but I never imagined we would come so far!

    • My daughter was 8lb 7oz as well! I didn’t consider her “big” really, just average. I am pretty flippin’ proud to say she has never had a bottle or a drop of formula. She is three and a half and breastfeeds once a day or so. I was very determined to breastfeed her, but I never imagined we would come so far!

  8. Speaking as someone who has never breastfed (because I’ve never had my own children) and, as a foster carer, has no choice but to bottle feed my charges I can assure you that whatever guilt/shame/embarrassment/pressure applies to breastfeeding (in your opinion) applies to bottle feeders as well. I’m so sick of sideways glances at the right-on mum/baby groups where all the other mothers are breastfeeding away and I’m producing bottles and formula from my massive bag.

    I really don’t live in this world you describe. Bottle feeding is expensive, a massive faff, totally frowned on by health professionals and pretty much everyone. I am constantly bombarded by the ‘breast is best’ message and told that the children I care for will be obese, not properly bonded, suffer poor attachment, etc. etc. etc. when all I want to say is if only you knew what these kids had been through before they came into my care, you’d shut up about it because you’d realise that the method by which they are getting their food is the least of their worries.

    Virtually everyone I know has breastfed their babies and those that have not, for one reason or another, have felt so bad about it that they have even resorted to trying to hide it until that becomes impossible. I am in total support of breastfeeding as the most appropriate way to feed baby, but I can’t agree that we live in a culture where bottle feeding is encouraged and breastfeeding is discouraged.

    Pressure on parents exists whether bottle feeding or breast feeding. Pressure on parents exists because we put ourselves under that pressure, because every single person we meet has an opinion about every single thing we are doing with our children. Regardless of our choice (or lack of choice!) about how our babies are fed, the pressure we perceive around us can only have an impact if we let it. I say there is pressure not to bottle feed. You say there is pressure not to breastfeed. Let’s just say that there is pressure on both sides and it completely needs to stop.

    • You are absolutely right, parents are under enormous pressure from all angles whatever they decide. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t seems to be the order of the day!

      I tried to make it very clear that this post isn’t about whether breastfeeding is “better”, but more about how those who choose it are treated and how unfair that is.

      It seems like a terrible contradiction to me that everyone tells you that you “SHOULD” breastfeed… but the support to achieve that goal is not there.

      I think we would all be better served if health professionals and wider society (media, employers, neighbours, friends, etc) stopped pressuring mothers one way or the other and just gave consistent and effective support to help everyone achieve their own goals.

    • Can I just say thank you to you for what you do for these children. I know some foster carers and I know how much they care about their little ones, and what a mess our society would be in without people like you who step up to the plate.

      With regard to feeding these vulnerable babies, the frustrating thing is how many lactating women I know that would LOVE to donate breast milk to babies in this kind of situation. The will is totally there from the people producing the breast milk, but a system is to collect, prepare, and distribute this milk is so low priority as to fall off the bottom. What a crying shame.

      As for health professionals telling you to your face that you are making your foster babies obese etc, I hope you are reporting them to their line managers as that is just ridiculous and they need to learn to think before they speak.

    • I am a mother, who, within a week of my son’s birth, was in hospital because we could not breast feed. It does happen to some mothers and their children. I had not even considered the option of bottle feeding, so was on steep learning curve!
      However, what I found most upsetting was the disapproval from others. I still remember the way I was treated by others – both health workers and other Mums.
      My son is now 8 Years old. He is a bright and loving child. I would urge others to be less judgemental.

      • Then we agree, because the judgement that breastfeeding dyads face makes up a good chunk of this piece :/ I know that bottlefeeding mothers don’t get off scott free, either (and said as much). I wish that less education on WHY to breastfeed were put out there, and more emphasis on how. It would be nice to see it normalised in TV and media. But overall, I wish that the goal was to just to support the mothers who want to breastfeed to do it and leave the mothers who’d rather not alone.

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  11. Bonus points for the Monty Python reference!

    But the body of the article is sadly true. Also, make sure society disapproves of attachment parenting, and encouraged the mother to put her baby into childcare as soon as possible, that the mother only gets 6 weeks off work and that he workplace doesn’t provide an expressing room or time to do so.

    • Hi there, thank you for your comment! I live in the UK, where we usually get several months maternity leave (although most of it on low pay), but you do make a valid point – I think I should have included this!

  12. I think it was going great until number 11. WHO growth charts no longer represent af fed babies and when bf is going well those babies will grow quicker than af counterparts in 1st 3minths. But otherwise a very strong message about some practices that scupper women’s bf careers ….

  13. Yes! #12 has been said to me a few times, each time has stuck in my head, but I learned to just brush it off. I plan on letting my daughter self wean, so I will soon be heading into the territory of #17 and beyond, eek!

  14. Love this.

    Step 11 almost killed me first time round. I was actually starting to have panic attacks during my second pregnancy at the thought of weighing my second child. I could have kissed the midwife who whispered to me “you can refuse weighings you know”…I didn’t as I didn’t want to raise any ‘red flags’ with the other hospital staff but I got the hell out of there before they could overanalyse my baby’s weight and demand I supplement with formula like they did with DD1. I refused and got into a massive fight with them.

    My biggest hurdles were bad information given by supposedly trained medical staff. I was told the wrong hold (which caused a bad latch and severe nipple trauma), given the wrong information about pain medication (told it wouldn’t affect newborn, it made her sleepy), told not to wake her for feeds (even after 6hrs – she was sleepy from meds) which then created a vicious cycle. They kept me stressed and without sleep for days (75hrs) until I finally cracked it. Thankfully my mum and husband were there by my side fighting to get me and bub the heck out of their hands at the hospital, and home to proper care. Proud to say that despite all the pressure and sabotage I managed to avoid supplementation and went on to breastfeed my DD1 for 4 years.

    Second time round they were a lot better (they had taken on the entire staff from a much more breastfeeding friendly hospital that closed down, and the staff had obviously worked their magic on the existing staff) but I was still wary and got out of there ASAP. Doctors prefer to cover their ar$e$ rather than support the establishment of breastfeeding.

  15. I know what made breast feeding fail with my first. Complete lack of will or interest from the health system. She had a tongue tie and couldn’t latch at all, and we had to turn ourselves inside out travelling the country (we didn’t own a car at the time) while I exclusively pumped for her, to get it released – twice (it was a chunky tie!). By then she’d lost the spirit to keep trying to breast feed. I still believe it would have been solvable if I could have found someone with the skills and time to sit with us but the NHS does not prioritise breast feeding (my health visitor was obsessed with whether I had post natal depression but had nothing to say at all about me wanting to latch my daughter on) and the voluntary bf counsellor that I managed to find wanted to help but had no idea how. I truly believe I could bf, none of the above had worked on me (I tend to be of my own mind about things by nature) and breast feeding still failed – because I couldn’t get the help necessary. And that is when I stopped EVER being judgemental about bottle feeding because I realised that everyone truly does want to do the best they can for their baby and with all the above in play (which I knew has more effect on most people) and no will to provide actual skilled support from the professionals we have to trust, it’s no wonder we see so much bottle feeding.

  16. How about we just give expectant mothers unbiased facts regarding infant nutrition and leave them to make up thier own minds? Pressure to breast feed / scorn for formula feeding is a terrible burden to place on new mothers, and lists like this circulating around do nothing to help.
    And if you think that you get funny looks for breastfeeding, try having pnd and being told in a cafe that the formula you are feeding your child is poison and you’re not fit to be a mother. This from a self proclaimed lactavist.
    Taking judgement away from mothers may do more to increase breast feeding rates than all the nastiness spouted in the name of “education”.

    • Please be clear what you mean by “this does nothing to help”? I disagree. If it’s made you stop and think about what you say to breastfeeding mothers and how you support them, then it’s done A LOT to help. If a breastfeeding mum reads it and feels, “I am not alone!” it’s done a lot to help. If a mum reads it and realises something she has been told might not be true, then it’s done a lot to help. If it has planted a seed in someone’s mind that breastfeeding past infancy is fine and normal, it’s done a lot to help.

      I know that there is pressure put on women to breastfeed, numerous hurdles put in front of them to prevent them managing it and then scorn heaped on them when they choose bottles instead. I KNOW THAT. Honest. It’s what made me cross enough to write the flippin’ thing in the first place. You are preaching to the choir.

      I agree wholeheartedly about unbiased facts. I personally find them very helpful, but I notice they are usually not well-received. The assumption is always made by SOMEONE that it is is a guilt trip, and not unbiased facts allowing parents to make an informed choice. Do you realise that your comment reads much the same? “Don’t speak up! Even if it might help someone, keep quiet! Or you will make someone FEEL GUILTY!” It’s a tired old trope.

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  18. I can totally relate. My MIL recently asked me when I was going to start weaning (my baby girl is only 9 months old) and when I replied that I planned to breastfeed until she was at least 2yo, my MIL expressed shock, and hinted that I was being selfish as it meant that I couldn’t leave my baby overnight with her! She also suggested I give baby a bottle of formula with farex to stop night wakings . As a first time mum, I’m thankful that my partner and my mum are a great support when it comes to breastfeeding.

  19. All this is precisely why I ‘opted out’ of any so called support and baby clinics for my second third and fourth children…due to the absolute nonsense and undermining of confidence after the birth if my first son . The insistence on weighing the baby weekly and comparing this to bottle fed infants was too ludicrous for words. I gave up attending or engaging with the ‘health visitor’ after a few months and never once got into all that malarkey with my next 3 sons. If they were sick I took then to a doctor. The ‘baby clinic’ mob are all in cahoots for you to stick to the script of x weight at x weeks and x ticked off the development chart on x date…..it’s best to opt out. I breastfed my 2nd 3rd and 4th sons for roughly a year to 14 months depending on how we both felt …on the bus…in the town …anywhere we liked …and thought that anyone can like it or lump it ….never did I have them weighed….my 3 youngest sons…..they are all well over 10 stone now!

  20. I had negative comments about my ability to breastfeed from both my mum and MIL with my first – MIL is a midwife! MIL insisted I wasn’t producing enough milk, baby needed some formula or water, etc. She soon kept quiet when I expressed 8oz of milk from one side in about 5 minutes. I learned not to say anything to anyone with no 2 and 3 (I fed no 3 for 3 years). All my babies were big (8lb12oz, 9lb7oz and 10lb1oz), so size of baby was not an issue. I even managed to breastfeed my 3rd every hour on the hour, day and night, for a month when she was on medication at 6 months that made her ravenous! She refused expressed milk, so there was no point trying to give her anything else.

    Sadlly, in South Africa where my MIL is a midwife (I’m in the UK), babies are often given formula to boost their glucose levels within 24 hours of birth because the paediatricians are worried mothers won’t produce enough colustrum. Babies are also also often put into nurseries in South Africa to ‘let the mothers rest’. I would have had no rest not being able to see my precious child next to me, not knowing if they needed me.

    I understand it’s not easy for everyone and it certainly wasn’t easy for me at first, but thankfully I have a very supportive husband who was just there for me, no matter what. I have friends and family who, for whatever reason, have not been able to breastfeed and yet have not criticised me for my choice.

    I would love to be a breastfeeding counsellor in my area, but there is no funding for the training and so I’ve not been able to help others who want/need help :(.

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